Toxic Tutu is a strange, strange film because it tries to be a lot of things. It's a reunion film because it reunites a lot of the main cast from the original Toxic Avenger film. It's also a thank you letter to all of the fans of that film as it takes places mostly at horror conventions with fans talking on camera. It's also a conspiracy tale that revolves around the original toxic waste from the first Toxic Avenger movie. And lastly, it is a metaphysical allegory for what it is to live life as a mortal being who becomes immortal through film and fandom.
This might very well be the strangest mockumentary in history.
As a Troma and Toxie fan, I was pretty stoked to see a movie like this. The idea of there being a big cover-up behind the scenes around the original Toxic Avenger, and its affects on Mark Torgl was a fascinating take on my favorite movie. As far as I'm concerned this is the sixth Toxie movie.Yes, sixth.
The Toxic Avenger
The Toxic Avenger Part II
The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie
Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger Part IV
Toxic Crusaders: The Movie (which is the first 3 or 4 episodes edited into a film)
Toxic Tutu
There are also a ton of cameo appearances in this! I was definitely shocked by the amount of talent that appeared in this movie. B-movie stars and starlets, pro-wrestlers, podcasters, commentators, etc., they're all here to pay tribute to Mark Torgl and his legacy as Melvin the Mop Boy! I won't ruin any of the cameos, but I was really impressed by the turnout.
Troma, funny enough, isn't distributing Toxic Tutu. No idea why, but it is brought to us by the good people at Sector 5 Films. Toxic Tutu does though feature a great deal of footage from Troma, The Toxic Avenger, and various Troma alumni and current Tromites. Even CEO Lloyd Kaufman has a supporting role in this movie, which makes it's disconnect from Troma even more mysterious.
There is a bit of sadness though with this film. The director, Joe Nardelli, passed away before it's release I believe. I'm not sure if he was able to see the final cut at all, but I hope he did. There's definitely an audience for weird movies like this. Shoe-string-budget avant-garde love letters to friends and fans. This was a passion project for sure, and it shows.
In the galaxy of cult film actors and actresses, Mark Torgl has always been beloved but there's been this disconnect between him and his fans. No idea why. In Toxic Tutu he mentions how he only recently started going to conventions to meet his fans, so maybe he's finally coming out of his shell. I'd love to see him at NYCC and get a picture with him, that's for sure.
I say give Toxic Tutu a watch, currently it's on Amazon Prime and also available on DVD. It's interesting and a load of fun.
As X-day crawls closer and closer, so does The Conspiracy. Every second of every waking moment is overshadowed by this all intrusive force that prevents us from enjoying our existence as we want to. They, The Con, are nigh-invincible, but even they cannot withstand the power and onslaught of JHVH-1 and an armada of Xists.
This year might very well be 1998! And next month, on the 5th of July, THE WORLD MIGHT FINALLY BE RUPTURED.
The Con knows this, and because they're a bunch of shitheads, they want to prevent all ordained members of The Church of the SubGenius from being saved by the Pleasure Saucers. The traps of The Con are everywhere, and they take on many disguises.
The other day I received a suspicious phone call from The United Nations. I did not answer of course, I mean, why would I. I'm sure the voice on the other side was indeed some nefarious agent of The Con, possibly the Men in Black, trying to entrap me via my own smartphones WiFi! These cannibals would do away with all of us before X-Day, so be wary.
Join The Church of the SubGenius! Save yourself!
But I am not unarmed. In my life I have been many things, but I have never been unloved. I was recently sent items that will help fight the conspiracy. These are artifacts of ultimate Slack and I am eternally grateful to the persons who sent them my way. These items I will treasure always.
My dear friend Stephanie sent me these amazing items, handcrafted by way of her amazing talent:
First, this ceramic/glass portrait of what I believe is her true likeness, harnessing the power of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs very own frop pipe! The first thing I noticed about this item was how hefty it was; it's very heavy and the detail is amazing. I mean that, the pictures don't do it justice at all. I'm sure having this will act as the perfect shield against any enemy transmissions or laser beams transmitted by secret Conspiracy satellites.
Stephanie also sent over this portable alien-hybrid power stone! A talisman for love, fortune, and wisdom. Also good at chucking at the faces of the Men in Black.
A homemade Drump voodoo doll! I'm not sure if I'll end up using this at any point, but, It will look good on my shelf next to my Rudy Giuliani voodoo doll!
... Maybe I will try out these dolls when given the right moment.
A handful of amazing stickers. Some of these are already on my computer.
Some VERY tasty candy.
Another amazing package was sent to me by none other than Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite, mayor of Dobbs.Town. The good doctor prescribed to me these amazing books.
The first, "Outbursts of Everett True", is a long lost character of amazing fortitude and strength. Everett is a normal man, but he reacts to normal annoyances in dramatic and near superhuman ways. A true her in every respect, Everett True is the bully who bullies bullies. You kick a dog; he'll kick you through a wall! You scare a kid with a knife; he'll slice off your ear! I mean, c'mon, that's just amazing. Everett True is the ideal man of justice in someways, coming from an era where punching a guy was considered swift justice. None of that high ground bullshit, the "Outbursts of Everett True" is a training manual on how to react to injustice in all it's forms.
The second book is also interesting to me because it is The Enchiridion by Epictetus. I'm a philosophy major, so I am of course familiar with this book on basic human decency and moral thinking. Epictetus is one of my favorite thinkers of his time, but I don't think I've ever known The Enchiridion itself ( I do have other books by Epictetus though).
What makes this version particularly special is it has four different English translations of The Enchiridion. If you've never read this book in any of it's forms, here's a quick run down; simply put it is a series of guidelines on how to react and reflect on your actions when dealing with people or peoples in society. Like Everett True, Epictetus is trying to teach readers how to live a moral life. It is non-secular if I remember correctly; Epictetus does talk about God/gods in his other works but in this one I think he keeps his feet on terra firma and simply wants to relate to people on a one-to-one level.
A Man of Letters
Another important thing to note is that this copy of The Enchiridion has been published, I believe, under the imprint of A Man of Letters, which was a podcast series about literature that lasted about 5 years. If I'm not mistaken, Dr. Canobite himself was the host. Click the image above to hear a reading from The Enchiridion.
And yesterday, during a fishing expidition in my neighborhood, my partner and I found some amazing treasures. There were all these statues of Hindu deities scattered around the area. We had no idea what was going on, but thought since we didn't catch any fish, we could at least give these gods a new home.
Then later I found out that the reason these statues were cast away is because they were probably used in some sort of ceremony and were no longer needed. Apparantly fishing them out of the water is a bad omen.
Well, whoops. Oh well, I'm still going to keep them unless I hear from my Hindu friends. If I have to bring them back to the bay I will, but for now they will be a part of my window altar alongside Hotei and my Tiki.
Below are the pictures from this fishing trip.
"Maggots" (2017)
I found this movie called "Maggots" the other day, and it was lots of dumb fun. There's this whole backstory about a galactic war, a CIA cover-up, and mutant monsters that resemble maggots eating a huge portion of the Earth population, but most of that doesn't come into play. It's mostly about this one small town where the Maggots return after their meteor crash lands. They go around eating random citizens, talking in a strange Chipmunk-like voice, and generally just being real horrible creatures.
I was rooting for them the whole time.
Now normally, I'd post a trailer alongside all the stuff here, but I couldn't find any. I mean I did, and I found the poster (above) but they look like they're from a different Maggot movie. The YouTube trailer has a different director name listed than the one for the IMDB. One is for 2007, and the one I watched is for 2017
I dunno man, I was really stoned while watching this flick, all I can tell you is that I loved it. And I guess I have to find this OTHER movie called Maggots that has similar looking creatures, except in CGI rather than puppets.
Whatever movie I watched though, I have to emphasize, I really enjoyed it.
Battle Bots (also known as "Robo War") (2018)
This is a pretty generic post-apocalyptic movie, but, it's just so likeable because there was no budget involved. All the costumes, and I mean ALL the costumes, were purchased at a Halloween store. I can almost guarantee that. There is not one decent costume among the entire cast and I wouldn't have it any other way.
There ARE giant robots in this movie, at least two, and those costumes are pretty good I guess. I say that, but they still look ridiculous.
So the plot; after a nuclear apocalypse, a cult that worships robots fights against a group of rebels who are tired of their shit, and who also have access to a giant robot. The giant robots fight, and the movie ends. That's more or less the whole story, it was difficult to pay attention. I feel like this would have been a better novel or comic book. As a movie it's fine, but it's so dialogue heavy and there aren't enough action scenes, mutants, or monsters to keep my me too interested. I still watched the whole thing though, it was only 67 minutes long.
This movie was apparently directed and written by Mark Polonia, who is a pretty legendary z-grade movie director. I'm a little surprised actually; normally he has a lot of fun creatures or effects in his films. This movie isn't terrible by any means, but it's missing a bit of zest.
I couldn't find a trailer for Robo War/Battle Bots, so here's some footage from "Saurians" (1994)
I plan on uploading more public domain films on my YouTube page. Mostly for my own convenience, but I figure everyone could enjoy these films as well.
This is one of my favorite movies if I'm being honest. It's a remake of an infamous Roger Corman movie called "It Conquered the World". It's the same exact plot, but I love the overall vibe of this version of the story. Something about it taking place during the Super Sonic Sixties really meshes with my sensibilities. Personally, I find it to be superior to the original even if it isn't as iconic.
As the year winds down, I have shifting my reality a bit by trying to figure out what the core of my being is. For too long I've felt like I've let too many people take control of my mind. I mean, it's been great to some degree; I lack certain responsibilities that would cause me grief, but at the same time I also miss certain freedoms I feel I used to have.
My hobbies keep me safe and sane, for sure. all I do is collect novelties and toys, and watch and appreciate strange films that would be tossed aside by any other mundane viewer. I'm beginning to realize that there was never truly such a thing as a really bad film. Every movie in existence is someone's favorite, or at least, within their top twenty films. Learning to appreciate art in spite of mundane worlds expectations to what a narrative should be is a victory. The media and literature we ingest help us create a filter for our world, and form how we react to any sort of stimuli.
I never thought of the content itself being all that important, but that's been changing recently. I don't know, I never felt being a hardcore horror fan, or whatever, made anyone more or less emotional in any way, but maybe I'm just blinding myself to some sort of obvious truth.
What sort of affects do the hidden intentions and goals of others really have on us on a psychic level; I doubt there's any way to really understand or quantify this.
I'm somehow really excited for next year. I'm tossing aside so much so I can try new things. I won't lie; this is sort of terrifying for me, but I really want to switch things up while I have a chance to do so at a reasonable age.
The weather is still pretty warm even though we're almost in January. I still carry my skull-scarf around in my bag if I need it, but it hasn't happened too often that I do.
Since I'm on break from both work and school, I decided to partake of an herbal remedy I found in one of the many Discordian books written. I believe I found this particular recipe in the Zenarchy Cookbook. And let me tell you, it's really quite potent. I mean it only takes a few ingrediants, but it's both tasty and kick that lasts for at least 5 hours. In my case though it last nearly a full day and it was glorious.
And not that I should spread this around, but just in case you might be an ordained SubGenius Reverend, please check out our new chat hub on Mastodon. It's like Twitter if Twitter was a Windows 98 program. Real low-tech and to the point. I really like it. You can use the below QR Code to reach me or view my profile or something.
So I've known about this figure for a long time, but I never got around to buying it. I kept putting it off, but it was always on my list. Finally, with the help of some spare Xmas money, I purchased a Full Moon action figure of the Laserblast Alien! I'm pretty excited about this little guy being in my collection. I may buy one more to keep in the packaging, but this one for sure is going to roam free around my desk!
LASERBLAST ALIEN COLLECTIBLE FIGURE
So since I woke up late today with a head full of frop, I decided to watch a shit ton of movies featuring killer spiders.
GIANT SPIDER MOVIE MARATHON
So I started watching "Insectula!" earlier in the semester but ended up not having time to finish it until yesterday. What a strange but fun creature feature. It was beautifully made actually; there's a real comic book feel to it, and the opening sequence on the planet of monsters really stole my heart.
"Giant Spider" is a recent film made to look like it was made back in the 1950's, and it does a pretty good job. Apparently the director of this film has made a bunch of other movies that have also caught the attention of monster movie fans, so I'll have to check them out.
This is a close up look at the titular Giant Spider. When he's shown up close, he's this puppet, but when filmed from afar the Giant Spider is played by a real tarantula (who is credited at the end of the movie.)
"Arachnia" was an impulse watch for me. Mainly, I chose to watch it because the poster art caught my attention. I'm happy I ended up watching it though because it was a really enjoyable tongue-in-cheek sort of movie. The spiders in this are beautiful; I couldn't tell if they were stop-motion or CGI trying to mimic stop-motion. There's some prop and puppetry in this too. What a surprise treat.
"Creepies" and "Creepies II: Las Vegas Attack" may very well be my favorite giant spider movies since "Tarantula". A combination of CGI, puppets, miniatures, stock footage, stolen sound-effects, and in both cases, great casts. There's even some great music in the first one especially, by Manda and the Marbles.
Manda and the Marbles Documentary
The Creepies can communicate in the first one. It's not clear that's the case in the second one.
"Creepies II: Last Vegas Attack, King Spider Vs. The Mecha-Destructor" is a fantastic follow up to the original. It takes place almost immediately after the first one ends, and moves all the action from LA to Las Vegas, and introduces the all-powerful Mecha-Destructor! While the spiders in this seems to be the same puppets, dolls, etc., used in the first one, Mecha-Destructor is literally a store bought toy (a "RoboSapien") with another toys head attached (looks like one of the robots from the anime "Zoids")
"King Spider" seen below isn't it's own character, but rather it's the final attack of all the Creepies coming together to form this behemoth.
So no spoilers for "Creepies II: Las Vegas Attack", but there's definitely room for a third installment in this series. And I hope there is one someday! I'll hazard and guess both these movies were made either back-to-back, or, it was just one movie that was so long they made it into two, but either way I really enjoyed both. Just wacky giant monster nonsense.
THE FILMS OF JEFF LEROY
So, after finishing my thoughts on the "Creepies" movies, I stumbled upon other movies made by the same director, and I subscribed to his YouTube channel, Giantess Attacks. Director Jeff Leroy doesn't seem to have an official website, but there are plenty of his movies on Amazon Prime, and there's a Facebook Page as well. He seems to cater to the "giantess fetish" community, which is something I can respect.
Besides the Creepies movies, I've never really looked into the rest of Jeff Leroy's filmography, but I have to say I'm pretty impressed. I totally dig this guys style, and I look forward to binging his movies in the coming days. I wish they were easier to find on DVD though. I've never seen a physical copy of "Creepies" or "Creepies II".
The sequel isn't out just yet, but there's this poster for it.
"Alien vs Titanic" is known as "Predator World" on Amazon Prime
